Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Pippy's 6 Months!

Guess who is 6 months??


Monday, April 15, 2013

Sometimes, being a mom sucks.

Obviously, I'm the mom of our house. I get to wipe butts and noses, even when I don't feel like it. I get to pick up poop (animal and human). I get to wipe tears and noses. The payment for this is snuggles at night and happy children who can't wait to see me every day when we spend those brief moments apart.

I'm writing this because today is especially hard for me. Blaze, the Boston Terrier we added to our family last August, had to be euthanized yesterday.

This breaks my heart, but for more than just the obvious reason. Not only had he become a replacement of our last dog, Sophie; who filled a bit of a void that Knox had left behind when he left but he had also opened Zoe up to loving him like a brother. He came to work with me and the kids (he was one of them!). He started having seizures in December, and they were the worse seizures medical literature describes. He lost all bowel movement, had muscle spasms, lost his mind and wandered around aimlessly for a day or so afterwards until he finally remembered who we were and where he was.

Each seizure landed him in the emergency vet clinic to be treated and we started him in an anti seizure medication in January, which stopped his seizures! We were so relieved to have him back to normal (even though it took about three weeks this time from all the medications that were pumped into him and damage to his brain) from the series of seizures he had on New Year's Day. He hadn't had any seizures since that one until yesterday. This made it even harder to make the decision to put him down. The seizures he had yesterday were so non-stop and severe that at one point to poor guy was so scared he bared his teeth and lunged at me. After talking to our vet who lets me call him at home, the emergency vet and our family we decided the safest thing to do (since he had large doses of sedatives at home to try and stop them at home) would be to euthanize him since his seizures were effecting his quality of life and we couldn't find a cause for them.

My problem with being a mom today is that I woke up my daughter in her bed this morning gently to her sobbing. When she fully woke up so was so distraught about Blaze being gone that she cried all through getting dressed, making breakfast and trying to leave for our day. She kicked things and yelled and was furious when I had to tell her that we couldn't go pick up someone else's dog and bring it to work. She didn't want to go to school, because she feels too sad. This is a girl who lives for school, so it really hit home how bad she was hurting.

I called my mom (bless that woman) in tears on the way to work because my baby was hurting so badly and I had nothing left in my bag to make her feel better. Death sucks. Death hurts. Death is something a mom can't even fix. Grandma & Papa made it a little better though.

My Step-dad (who helped my bury Blaze yesterday) offered to come pick her up with my mom and take her to pick a plant to decorate Blaze's spot in their backyard and put rocks around it. So, Zoe went with them this morning. She just got back a little bit ago and is much happier. She 'gave him and his flowers a drink of water' and talked to him. She told him how she missed him. She told him how she loved him. She told him how she was sorry he had seizures that we couldn't stop.

Today is just tough. I'm fine. But, that's about it.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Waiting on Piper...

 The crowd we're in... theres a few things you gotta have yer own of.

A horse, and a feed bucket.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

A cowgirl....

I see this as a big canvas print hung somewhere cool, like a barn.

You know, a cowgirl can never start too early. :-)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

{Big Boy} Blaze @ 10 weeks

He's 12 weeks now, but this was 2 weeks ago... Cutest boy on the planet and he's getting so big!

He does the 'normal' boston thing of questioning you with the angle of his head...

 and if you talk to him and turn your head... he copies... hee hee.


This face! I just want to smooch it! Let me tell you, he gets LOTS of smooches!  

So, that's Blaze @ 10 weeks, I'll do some more photos of him this week sometime... so you'll get to see my big boy even bigger!

<3 br="br" dawn="dawn">

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Blaze is home!

He's actually been home a few weeks, but isn't he cute??

His name is Blaze, and he is our new boston terrier.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Bring your daughter to work day; every day? How does that even work?

This is a topic I rarely discuss with people; because it seem so irrelevant to my craftiness and life at home. In our house, this is a big deal. Why, you may ask? Because, I work 30-35 hours a week and bring my 4 year old with me everyday. I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful job, working for a wonderful man; my dad. He's allowed me to get back into the workforce and still be a full time mom. He sees his granddaughter almost everyday, and I don't pay for daycare. That said, I haven't found a way to convey the way I really feel about it.

I appreciate that I can bring my daughter to work everyday. I also feel stressed out, overwhelmed and discouraged sometimes. My daughter has been labeled the 'productivity killer' by my co-workers (my brothers) and I understand their frustrations. She IS a productivity killer. In my office, we always have snacks, coloring supplies and my daughter has an unbelievable knowledge of tech gear. She can turn on, and load cartoons (from the internet) onto the laptop to play with. She naps in her own office (which she does have) and is learning to be quiet when I answer the company phones. Again; I KNOW I'm lucky. How many working parents have the option to not pay for daycare and see everything their child can do daily? Not many. I missed her first steps, working a corporate type job and her being in daycare. I was laid off from that job when the company closed down and she had just turned 1, I was pregnant with #2 and we made the decision for me to be a stay at home mom until they were in school based on daycare costs. After we lost him, I NEEDED something to do and my dad had the work for me. I came into work on my own schedule; cried at work when I needed to and continued with my day.

Zoe is nearing 5, and with that will start school (of some sort, that is a whole other post!) in the fall. Come October, Piper will be joining us and will start going to work with me while Zoe is in school. I'm thinking that my hours are going to HAVE to be cut back, since managing a newborn and a preschooler will be close to impossible. 

I find that 'quiet time activities' for anytime work well to manage my 4 year old's time currently. I'm probably a terrible mother, but she does watch a movie everyday while I'm at work and then we move onto the other activities.

As a mother, our struggles are all unique. Not everyone struggles with the same hardships, and many times we can't compare our hardships to anothers.

As a parent, what is something that you struggle with and how do you manage to cope on a daily basis?